Fresh out of the box and I already constructed a false impression of online dating. My brother had done it awhile back and after talking with him, he had some comments that were a wake up call for me.
#1: You are not the only chick on the website. Guys who write you might have a particular interest in you but most likely, guys are writing a lot of girls at a time, casting a wide net to see what they can catch. In this sense I do not feel like the attention is as special or valid as I did at the beginning. This might seem obvious but it wasn’t made so clear to me before.
#2: You do not have to answer everyone. I try to be very polite and so when someone messages me, I feel it is the upstanding thing to always answer them, even if I see that there is likely no potential to be their friend or in a relationship (such as 0% match on major lifestyle and general interests). Although this is hard for me to do, if it is not going well, I should just let it be. There are other girls they are talking to who might fit better anyway.
#3: Online dating is unbalanced as in real life. Although possible for a girl to contact a guy first, it seems to be common practice for the guys to send the first messages and the girl to take it from there as far as deciding who she will talk to or not. I was not aware of this and do not see why it is mostly the case. The guy I like the best so far is someone I reached out to. As described by my brother, he saw that dating patterns in real life were made more extreme online. What are your thoughts on this?!?
Lesson Learned
It is always important to see the other side of things, particularly when it comes to all things dating and relationships. If you have a close guy friend or family member, it might be valuable to get their side of things. Invaluable insights!
The Dating Game for 20 somethings 